Yes, I switched to Substack, hello, it's still Lena.
|Jul 9||Public post|
Guess who? It’s me, of course. Lena. Your girl.
I’ve decided to pivot to video, I mean Substack, because I’ve heard good things about their platform and TinyLetter has always been a bit of a glitchy mess. Plus, if I ever become cool and/or famous this seems like the “cool and/or famous people’s newsletter platform of choice,” so there’s that.
Don’t worry, all of CAPS LOCK 1.0 will still live on at its TinyLetter archive for as long as that site exists; feel free to read through the old missives to your hearts’ content. I’ve put literally ALL 65 of them online now (including the bonus fanfic recommendation letter, which is truly a boon to y’all so don’t go wasting that selfless generosity) and it’s kind of wild to see how much I produced!
I guess in a way I’ve always thought of CAPS LOCK as a bizarre side project that allowed me to ramble on to a captive audience… and that wouldn’t be a wholly incorrect definition. It just wouldn’t be a wholly correct one either. CAPS LOCK 1.0 was, initially, a mostly-weekly e-missive filled with well-intentioned advice and passionate media recommendations and a LOT of emotions about current events and pop culture goings-on, plus an extremely well-curated selection of sea otter pictures. CAPS LOCK 1.0 then transformed into Lena’s Deep Feelings Zone That Only Occasionally Gets Published, and then it transformed further into So I Guess Lena Let That Project Fall By The Wayside But She Has Some Really Intense Things To Share With Us, Huh?, and I’m grateful that y’all have stuck with me as a readership in all three iterations.
CAPS LOCK 1.0 started because I hated my job and needed a creative-ish outlet that didn’t take too much of a heavy lift to create; CAPS LOCK 1.0 also started because I’ve always been a bit of an over-sharer with a need for validation and feedback. CAPS LOCK 1.0 was a lovely journey through a few different phases of my New York City Life Cycle, and now we’re moving on to a brand new adventure so it’s time for something new.
CAPS LOCK 2: 2 CAPS 2 LOCK (alt. title CAPS LOCK 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO) will, in all probability, be fairly similar to the final metamorphosis of CAPS LOCK 1.0: ramblings and such. But it might also just be nice to give y’all a few regular updates, seeing that you all are my friends and I basically don’t use Facebook so who the hell knows what I’m up to these days, right? 😉
In any event, thanks for being supportive and loving and excited about things I had to say. I hope that keeps being the case! Now then, just a few brief updates. And I mean it when I say brief, I promise.
MY LAST DAY OF WORK IS THIS FRIDAY, JULY 12. Yes, you read that right. I will finally be FREE, a FREE WOMAN, UNSHACKLED AND UNBURDENED, as of 2:00 pm on July 12. I cannot wait.
My course at Oxford — an MPhil in Greek and/or Latin Language and Literature, try saying that five times fast — begins on 7 October 2019. HOLY HELL, RIGHT? I’m nervous and am having a ton of imposter syndrome about it all. As I texted Lucy last night, I keep trying to read academic work (either online pieces or journal articles) and feeling like I can’t process anything anymore. Granted, the piece I was reading last night is on philosophy, which has literally never made sense to me, BUT STILL. I need to be able to read criticism and not feel confused as fuck! Also, I forgot which emperors preceded (Antoninus Pius) and succeeded (Commodus) Marcus Aurelius! I had to look that shit up! And I’m trying to be a Latinist for god’s sake! Fuck!!!!! WHO LET ME DO THIS, I’M LITERALLY DOOMED, LMAO CAN’T WAIT TO FAIL OUT OF OXFORD
Anyway if you can’t tell, this has been a really, really, really bad time for my anxiety. I’m hoping things will calm down after Friday. Please be gentle with me if I’m a shitty friend over the course of the next few days.
Get you someone like Jordan in your life, who is one of my most wonderful friends on this earth AND looks amazing with literally any hair color AND keeps me abreast of Taylor Swift drama so that I don’t have to look it up or read any explainers myself AND is a talented writer. She just started a TinyLetter called Saturday Song that is extremely lovely and you all need to subscribe.
My last day in NYC is somewhere around the August 31 region; if you live hear or nearby and you want to see me before I hop skip and jump across the pond, it’s gotta be before then. 😘
I’m seeing someone! That’s all that really needs to be said on the matter. Blame Annabelle, who connected the two of us. If it goes poorly at some point I suspect you’ll get some moody introspection, but I’m really rather hoping that doesn’t happen.
I’m once again attempting a National Novel Writing Month project — Camp NaNo, where you set a goal for yourself for the month of July — and so far, due to the aforementioned anxiety, I haven’t been hitting my daily goals. I think I can get to 50,000 words by the end of July, though! It’s the same project as ever, the fantasy one, but I feel solid about it this go-round. I love these kids, two of whom are completely wrong about the definition of the word “lynx” and most of whom are some kind of queer, and I love the story, and I love the world. It’s been stuck in my head since 2008; I think (a little selfishly and narcissistic-ly) that it’s high time that someone other than me get to enjoy what I’ve built. What I have been able to write has been exciting and fun, which is a good sign.
And that’s it! See! Fairly brief! It could have been SO much longer, you know?
Anyway, I love you all, same as always. Nuzzle some sweet sea otters for me if given the chance, and hug the people you care about and give them some compliments. And listen to Melodrama on repeat; it’s summer, after all!
xoxo, Your Friendly Neighborhood MY GOD I’M REALLY ALMOST FREE. NO MORE LM. CAN YOU IMAGINE? MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!